I thought I would be clever tonight and failed miserably :-(

I've been getting stronger, much stronger and thought I would get myself a drink of water from the kitchen in a glass, I know it doesn't sound much but I've been drinking out of a plastic "barbie" cup with a lid and straw, when I lost use of my right side, I was knocking/dropping everything. So... I got a Coca Cola glass, filled it with water, had about 3 sips then dropped it. How can one 330ml glass of water make so much bleeding mess and smash into so many pieces? My mum is in bed I've ended up giving up trying to clear it up!

Grrrrrrrr @ Glasses!!

My internet connection is playing up too, you pay for broadband then can't even get online! I got cut off mid conversation with Kat earlier and not got back online since, I'm typing this in notepad and I'll upload it later. Tis driving me bonkers!

Grrrrrrrrr @ Virgin!!

I'm still feeling really lost without Dean today, I've no idea why :-( I should be used to it by now, I normally am but today I just don't want to be alone. I know my mum is in but I am basically on my own. I feel really bad telling Dean how I feel but I did tonight, I hate burdening it on to him when I know he is feeling it too and can't do anything to help it, he just ends up feeling bad too.

Grrrrrrrrr @ needing a Dean hug!!

I've just been listening to Bridget Jones Soundtrack and thought I'd leave you with a song for the evening...

*Sings badly like Bridget sitting on the livingroom floor in opening scene*

When I was young
I never needed anyone
And makin' love was just for fun
Those days are gone

Livin' alone
I think of all the friends I've known
But when I dial the telephone
Nobody's home

All by myself
Don't wanna be, all by myself anymore
All by myself
Don't wanna live, all by myself anymore

Hard to be sure
Sometimes I feel so insecure
And love so distant and obscure
Remains the cure

I need another drink!

Night night xxx

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